Rukia's B an E
by Toshiro123
Summary: Rukia had the craving of doing a B an E ...but she couldn’t accomplish her mission in the Soul Society...the only way she could stop her craving would be by going to the real world and dragging Ichigo with her...and what is a B and E?...read and find out.


**Rukias B an E**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach, it belongs to Tite Kubo…

Inspired by Dane Cook…

By: Nancy and Sarita….Barragan

One day Rukia had the craving of doing a B an E ...but she couldn't accomplish her mission in the Soul Society. She knew she would get in big trouble and would bring a bad image upon the Kuchiki clan, which her brother would not be happy about. However, her craving couldn't stop and she knew that the only way she could stop her craving would be by going to the real world and what do you know….Ichigos' family was on vacation this was the perfect opportunity.

So she decided to ask the Capitan from the first division to let her go to the real world to check up on the representative soul reaper, she knew asking her brother would just be a waste of time, because his answer would always be "NO."

"Capitan Yamamoto, sorry to disturb you, but I wanted to ask you if you could grant me permission to go to the real world to see if Ichigo Kurosaki is doing his job as a representative soul reaper, I would highly thank you." Rukia said bowing down as a sign of respect.

Yamamoto just looked at her wondering why she cared about Ichigo doing his job.

"May I know the reason why you are so concern about Ichigo Kurosaki? You know that he has done a great job as a representative soul reaper. He helped us very much in the Winter War with Aizen. I see no reason for you to go."

"Well Captain Yamamoto you see Ichigos' family has gone out town on vacation, and well…since his left all alone, I thought he might want some company, besides it will give me something to do you know how messy Ichigos' fights get"

"I see your point Rukia and you might be right." He paused for a second. "I will give you permission to go, however you must return by dawn to form us of any kind of dangers, then you may return to the real world, but just for a few days understood?"

"Thank you Captain Yamamoto." She bowed and left with a big smile in her face, her B an E was now in motion.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As soon as she arrived to the real world she flickered her blue shiny new Verizon Samsung Glyde. She called Ichigo to tell him the "plan".

Ichigo was lying on his bed half lost in what seemed to be a day dream about his little adventure in Hueco Mundo, the events that took place re-playing over and over in his mind, Orihime's face flashing right before his eyes, he felt a light burn in his chest making it hard for him to breath, the guilt was over powering, he started to hear a faint sound slowly breaking though his re-play of events it took him a while to catch what the sound was…. _Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring….. _

He didn't picke up.

It rang again

_Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring…_

And once again

_Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring…_

The ringing of the phone started to get him irritated and finally picked-up

"Hello"

"Hey Ichigo it's me Rukia"

"Rukia what do you want it's the middle of the night" he muttered wondering what she was doing in the real world.

"Ichigo we are going on an adventure tonight" Rukia was sitting on top of a tree looking at the clear night sky.

"I don't like adventures" he replied still sleety caught up in his day dream .

"I really don't care. Anyways I need you to Shunpo your ass to the park cuz we're doing on a B an E!" she exclaimed.

"Rukia, what the hell is that?" half dazed "Bacon and Eggs? yummy I love Bacon and Eggs…your going to cook for me?"

"NO you fucking idiot, it's Breaking an Entry!!" she snapped.

"Rukia let me ask you something, are you fucking crazy!!!!!"

"Look Ichigo if you don't get your dumn ass over here in five minutes…I'll shove my zanpakuto so far up your ass that your brain will be leaking ice cubs out your ears for weeks and don't call me crazy!!!"

"Rukia don't make me laugh, your little scrawny ass can barely hold a zanpakuto straight up right. So hold your horses on sticking anything up my ass, and by the way I didn't call you crazy, I asked you if you are crazy which apparently seems so and what are you doing in the real world any ways"

"I was send to check out how things are going in the real world with your family gone and all, I'm keeping you some company" Rukia flashed a wicked smile, knowing what events were going to take place that night.

"What do you mean by "what do you mean keeping me company?" getting aggravated by the answer she gave him.

"Well, you see Soul Society doesn't really trust you very much"

"May I know the reason why Soul Society doesn't trust me?" getting pissed off even more "I have been a representative soul reaper for almost a year"

"Soul Society thinks that you are a weak soul reaper."

"I'm not a weak soul reaper remember that Rukia!" Ichigo shouted.

"What ever Ichigo any ways are you going to come or do I have to go and get you."

"No thank you I can walk myself I have legs for a reason! By the way your not my mother you crazy lunatic!"

"I AM not crazy"!!!!!!! I just feel like having a little fun tonight, is that too much to ask for."

"So Breaking an Entry is just a little fun for you?" Ichigo asked with on eyebrow rised

"Yes"

"Like I said you are crazy"

"Call me crazy one more time…." This time Rukia didn't yell back at Ichigo she seemed rather calm

"Never mind you are freakin insane. I'll be there in a few minutes."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Well here I am Ms. Crazy"

"I told you NOT to call me CRAZY……YOU ASKED FOR THIS!"

Ichigo gave a confused look to Rukia.

"whaaaahhhh…." Ichigo didn't finished his sentence before Rukia grabbed Ichigo's leg within a half a second Ichigo was swung up in the air, Rukia jumped up and kneed him on the side of his ribs, he let out a loud grunt and went flying straight down to the cold, solid pavement….

"Now stop calling me that, let's get moving, my craving for my B an E has grown." With that said both Soul Reapers were off to their mission. Rukia with a big smile on her face while Ichigo massaging his head from the impacted of his fall was not to certain what the hell this crazy woman was up too.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

TEN Minutes Later

"Rukia please don't do this" Ichigo complained.

"Ichigo shut up and keep up I need to find the perfect house to do my B an E"

"Rukia you're going to get us in serious trouble"

"Ichigo, my middle name is trouble"

"No it's not, in fact you don't have a middle name I just hope the Soul Society doesn't find out about this little mission of yours"

"Ichigo just shut up!!! Nope that's not the one, that's not it either, that one feels weird, BING-GO that's the house right there."

It was dark there were no lights on and you could barely see the outline and figure of the house. Rukia, and Ichigo decided to go through the back, just in case any late night walkers were to pass by, and notice "something" suspicions going on.

"Rukia check the windows and make sure…no one……"

"B0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0OMMMMMMM…….B0OOO0O0O0OOO0OM…..BO0O0O0OM….CRRRREEEEEEEEEEKKKKK…B0OM!!!!!!!!" with that the house door flew open.

"MAN DID THAT FEEL GREAT! OR WHAT!" Rukia exclaimed in excitement.

"Gezz Rukia anymore louder and maybe who knows WE COULD HAVE GOTTEN CAUGHT!"

"Well..well..look whose talking mister loud mouth!"

"Don't talk to me like that, you're the one who got me into this…and by the way…I found the key under the matt." Said Ichigo with a little smirk on his face and holding the key right in between Rukia's eyes.

"Well… that's no fun and besides this is a B an E, so stop being a party pooper Ichigo"

"Yeah yeah yeah..whatever, so are you going in or what???"

"Now that's what I'm talking about Ichigo…I see that finally you're in the mood." Rukia chuckled.

"What ever Rukia." Ichigo rolled his eyes at Rukia's reaction as she went in first.

She slowly poked her head in, to make sure no one was around, then she quickly made her way into the living room, the extreme rush of adrenalin over came her body as she began to rip, and tear every piece of furniture in site.

"Geezzzzzz Rukia calm down your going to wake up the whole block!"

"Oh Ichigo you have no idea what your missing out on…the rush of energy is thrilling!" Rukia was now making her way to the kitchen.

Horrified by what he was seeing he ran after her "Rukiaaaaaa!!..."

It was too late the banging of pots and pans had already begun.

The table was crashed into a thousand pieces, the chairs flipped over, some even made it into the living room. Pots and pans scattered all over the floor, cabinet doors flung open, food splattered all over the 4 walls making a room smell of various different combinations of food. Ichigo leaned against wall, knowing that fighting with Rukia was a hopeless attempted to reason with her so he waited for the noises to stop. In the mean time he started to thinking of way to stop Rukia's ram page.

"So are you done?" Ichigo asked once the noise stopped

"Are you kidding I'm barely getting started!"

"Rukia, come on now…how are you going to explain all of this to your brother?!"

"You'll see…" Rukia gave out a little chuckle…and made her way to the next room

The next room was rather small didn't have much in it…rather disappointed she shattered the room in only a matter on seconds, the next 2 rooms weren't much of a challenge for Rukia either. She had completely destroyed everything in site.

"Well Rukia you've done it…have you fulfilled your needs"

Rukia flashed a huge smile "Yes, and look the sun is rising"

"We should get a move on…hey Rukia didn't it seemed weird to you that no one was home?" Both Rukia and Ichigo were already walking along side of the house making there way to the front.

"No, why?"

"Umm..I don't know it just seems so strange to me" As they started to cross the street Ichigo gave a quick glance at the house…

"AAAAHHHHHHH! Rukiaaa!"

"what?!" Rukia jumped scared by the scream Ichigo belted out

"Why you little…why didn't you tell me you were planning on doing your stupid B an A on my house!"

"hehehe..funny story …..Well..look at the time..i really must be heading out to the Soul Society, bye Ichigo!!" With that said Rukia made a run for it, while waving good bye to Ichigo.

"Hey where the hell do you think your going, get your ass over here! You better clean up MY house!" Ichigo went running after Rukia with a broom stick in his hand…

And with a snap of her fingers the portal to the Soul Society flashed open, she jumped in, the by time Ichigo catch up with her..she was already gone.

"I'll get you back Rukia, you'll see…"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I hope that you enjoyed reading the story…Please Read and Review…and one more thing there may a sequel not to sure yet.


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